14th Oct 2015

Some note about possible sibling rivalry

Wife: (try hard to continue being the informed book worm, as the old days, and read Sibling without rivalry to prepare for the second kid): About sibling rivalry: “with enough time apart, they might even begin to look good to each other” :))))

Husband (continue being the sarcastic jerk as always): Hey, time for self reflection ;)

Some note from the book:

  • Have a favorite is something inevitable of human nature, but show favoritism will harm both the favorite and the less favorite
  • Equal is less, anyone is unique, special and needs to be recognised as unique and special
  • No role forcing: no “brain of the family” or “artist of the family”, no bully, no victim
  • No comparison: describe the fact, don’t compare
  • Listen and describe facts and feelings
  • Show them someway to release hatred: write down, draw, beat an object :D
  • Let them try to figure out the agreement themselves

2 Responses to “Some note about possible sibling rivalry”

  1. P Says:

    Without favoritism, it should be Husband (try hard to be sarcastic jerk for a change).

    Perhaps there’s a book of Spouses without rivalry which preaches about the favoritism effect ?

  2. today20 Says:

    5 years later, a quote from The Denial of Death:

    “Sibling rivalry is a critical problem that reflects the basic human condition: it is not that children are vicious, selfish, or domineering. It is that they so openly express man’s tragic destiny: he must desperately justify himself as an object of primary value in the universe; he must stand out, be a hero, make the biggest possible contribution to world life, show that he counts more than anything or anyone else.”

    Ernest Becker

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